JUSTIFIED DECEPTION Read online

  “What"s outrageous about it? It's the way God intended.” His gaze rested on the skimpy top.

  "Besides, that thing you"re wearing leaves nothing to the imagination. There"s more of you coming out of it than there is packed inside."

  Impulsively Ruth glanced down and saw how much of her was exposed above the top, and how clearly the puckered nubs pressed against the fabric. “Like I told you, I didn"t expect to wear this in front of anyone but Annie, and certainly not in front of you.”

  “Why? Because you might see in my eyes the reflection of your own needs.”

  “That"s absurd. I feel nothing but annoyance with your insinuations.”

  “Not insinuations, facts." He held the tips of his fingers against her wrist and looked into her eyes. “Your pupils are dilated, your pulse is racing a mile a minute, and you"re having trouble breathing. Definite signs of pent-up passion.”

  Matt's words seemed to heighten every reaction he'd just described, and to Ruth's horror, a shiver coursed through her, making her body quiver. Catching his knowing look, she said, "I'm cold."

  "You're aroused."

  "Read into it whatever you want."

  "I'm afraid you're an open book.” He placed his hand on the curve of her neck where it met her shoulder and whispered into her ear, “Your whole body's primed for some serious attention."

  He kissed her ear, and her jaw, and her lips. Then he broke the kiss and his finger moved slowly down her neck. "Besides,” he said in a deep, low voice, "you'll never convince me that a woman who's willing to wear a couple of skimpy patches of material here—" his finger moved dangerously close to a puckered tip "—and little more than a scrap there—" he pointed to the juncture of her thighs "—is too inhibited to swim in the raw."

  Determined to set things straight about the bathing suit, she said, "You haven"t heard a word I"ve said. Like I told you before, this isn"t the kind of suit I normally wear. Annie picked it out because it looked like the one the new Beach Barbie I gave her was wearing, and I didn't want to disappoint her."

  "Well, since you wore it, it would be a damn shame not to christen it." He took her by the hand and said, "Come swim with me, Ruth."

  She pulled her hand from his and replied, "Hell will freeze over first."

  "Honey, as long as you're wearing this—" he snapped the strap to her bikini top "—nothing will freeze over."

  Irritated, she glared at him and said, "You can save the honeys and all your other hollow endearments and specious compliments for your Lorindas."

  "Specious compliments? What have I said that doesn't ring true?"

  Ruth bit her trembling lip. "All of it. Obviously you couldn"t possibly consider a flatchested old maid who sleeps with her legs crossed as being too terribly appealing!"

  "Oh crap! Annie-Big-Mouth." Matt rested back on both elbows, looked at the sky and mumbled, "I'll wring her little neck."

  "As a matter of fact, yes, it was Annie who told me, but she was only repeating what she heard you tell Seth. After that I"m sure you both had a roaring good laugh."

  “Regardless of what Annie said, it"s not true." He rolled onto his side again and propped himself on his elbow. His gaze retraced its earlier path, following a meandering course over her chest. "You have a body that would affect any red-blooded male. It's sure as hell having a dramatic effect on me right now. Besides, I made that remark when you still looked like Marian the Librarian. But now—" He stopped short, and the feral gleam she'd seen in his eyes moments before vanished, replaced by bewilderment. For a few moments he stared at her stomach, saying nothing. Then he stated, "You've had a child."

  Ruth froze. But when she finally found her voice, all she could think to say was, "How did you know"

  "Stretch marks." With the tip of his finger, Matt traced one of several faint white lines crossing her stomach just above her bathing suit.

  Ruth didn't look at him, only nodded, miserably.

  "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I couldn't. It's too hard to talk about."

  Matt curved a finger beneath her chin and raised her head until her eyes met his. "Is that what you've been keeping bottled up inside, honey? The loss of a child?"

  Tears burned behind Ruth's eyes and everything in her line of vision blurred. She nodded, her breath catching with the sudden onslaught of tears. The tears were real. The implication behind them were a lie. Matt assumed her child had died, and she'd given him no reason to believe otherwise. But then, how could she be certain Beth wasn't dead? With that thought, she started shaking, sobs racking her body and making it jerk uncontrollably.

  Matt took her in his arms. "Ruth, honey, I'm so sorry. But at least I understand."

  She stiffened. "No... No you don't. It leaves a hole right here—" she jabbed a finger at her heart "—that never, ever goes away. It's there when you go to bed at night... and it's there when you wake up in the morning... and... it... never... ever... goes... away."

  Matt gathered her against him and stroked her hair. "How long ago?"

  "Fo... four... yea... years," Ruth stammered, her heart feeling as if it were being squeezed in a vise as memories surfaced, memories of the warm weight of her newborn baby in her arms, and memories of Beth's first smile, and her first words, and her first toddling steps, and of cuddling her at bedtime and tucking her into her safe little world…

  "How old was your child?"

  Ruth sucked in a ragged breath, and when she could at last speak, she said in a wavering voice, "She'd just turned two." At once, she realized she'd given Matt two pieces to a puzzle he might ultimately put together. Her child's sex, and her age. But his question caught her off guard and her answer just slipped out.

  "Then your daughter would have been about Annie's age now," he honed in.

  Not would have been, she wanted to scream. Is. Beth is Annie's age. Beth is Annie! The ethereal cord between mother and child still held fast, had never been severed. Which was why, in her heart, Ruth knew Beth was still alive. Her mind adrift like a rudderless boat while she tried to grasp words that wouldn't come, she finally said, "Please don't ask me anything else. I just can't talk about it right now."

  Taking her by the shoulders, Matt held her so she was forced to look at him, and said,

  "Honey, if you keep holding it inside you'll never come to terms with it."

  “Come to terms? How does one come to terms with such a terrible thing?" She looked into eyes so sincere, so earnest, she almost poured out her heart. Instead, she shook her head and said,

  "I just can't talk about it."

  "Yes you can," Matt said. "Talk to me, Ruth. How did it happen? How did you lose your daughter?"

  At once, Ruth felt everything unraveling. She couldn"t give way now, not when she was so close to learning the truth. Abruptly, she pushed out of Matt's arms, yanked off her glasses, and said, "Maybe a swim would be nice. Without my glasses you"ll just be a blur so it won"t matter in the least if you"re naked as a jay bird." That said, she jumped up and headed for the river.

  Matt stared after her. The sight of her barely-covered backside sashaying back and forth was almost his undoing. Did she know how provocatively her fanny moved when she walked? How revealing the skimpy suit was?

  At the riverbank, she turned and smiled over her shoulder. A come-on if he'd ever seen one.

  He also realized all signs of grief had vanished. She expected him to follow, in the raw, and join her in the water. And no right minded female teased a hot-blooded male the way she was doing, without expecting a hot and heavy response from him. And Lord knows, he was ready to give it to her. Stripping off his clothes, he raced after her...

  CHAPTER SIX

  Matt caught up with Ruth as she was dashing into the water. Grabbing her around the waist, he scooped her up into his arms. "Ugh. Me Tarzan. You Jane," he said, heaving her over his shoulder, one hand on her thigh, the other clasping her fanny.

  All Ruth could see from her vantage point was the ground racing beneath her and M
att"s naked backside. It was insane. It was preposterous. It was wild and basic and primitive, Matt charging through the water, naked as the day he was born, her slung over his shoulder like booty from a tribal raid. And she was on the verge of giving herself to him, giving herself to a man she"d known for only three weeks. To a man who brought out her most primal instincts and drove her to a recklessness she"d never known. Her mind whirled between struggling from his grasp and rushing for shore, or begging him to stop the aching need that was building so fast and so intense, she felt as if she were about to explode.

  Waist deep in the swimming hole, he tossed her into the water. The abrupt release of his arms from around her and the impact of the cold water on her body brought her back to reality.

  And the reality was, she was also about to give herself to the man who might have played apart in the abduction of her daughter. At last regaining control of her reeling senses, she started racing for shore.

  Matt caught up with her, grabbing her around the waist. “Oh, no you don"t,” he said, playfully. “You"re not getting away from old Tarzan.”

  "Please let me go,” Ruth said, struggling against his hold. “I don"t want this.” Matt took her by the arms, forcing her to look at him. Fixing her with a steely gaze, he said in a sober voice, “What do you mean, you don"t want this? There was nothing subtle about the signals you were sending me.”

  “I"m sorry about that. I don"t know what got into me,” Ruth said. “But I can"t do this. I"m just not into recreational sex.”

  Matt's anger died as suddenly as it had flared, and his brows drew in a perplexed frown. “Is that all you think this is, Ruth? Recreational sex?”

  “What else can it be? We barely know each other.”

  “Still, I feel something deep for you, honey, and I think you feel something for me too. And it"s not simply a desire for sex.” Matt peered into her eyes, “I want you more than I've ever wanted any woman, Ruth, but I don"t want you because you have a beautiful body. I want you because you"re beautiful inside. I see it in the loving way you handle Annie, even when she"s being a pain in the butt. And I admire your spunkiness with my men and your steadfast determination to ride a horse, and even your resolve to make a lady out of Annie. It"s not recreational sex I want, Ruth. It"s you. And that"s the plain truth.” Ruth felt the familiar lump rising in her throat and saw her own deep yearning reflected in Matt's eyes, and for an instant, life held promise. But the fact was, there were no promises, only unanswered questions. “Wanting me is not enough,” she said. “Besides, how can I expect to instill morals in Annie if I"m unable to maintain them for myself?”

  "This has nothing to do with Annie,” Matt said, looking steadily at her. “It has to do with a warm, loving, passionate woman, and a fully aroused man wanting to express their desires in the way God intended.”

  Ruth saw the extraordinary promise of his eyes. She was being consumed by an elemental need so strong she almost didn't have the power or the desire to stop him. But the fact was, she must stop him. Holding his steady gaze, she replied, “God intended a man and a woman to express their desires under the covenant of marriage.”

  Matt stared at her for a few moments, as if digesting what she"d said. Then his fingers tightened on her arms and he said, “Do you have any idea what you"re asking of me right now, how much self-control it"s taking to keep from stripping that next-to-nothing suit off you and letting nature take its course? And there"s no doubt in my mind, Ruth, nature would take its course if you shed that suit. Do you deny it?”

  Ruth shook her head. ”No, but please don"t try to lead me into doing something I"ll regret."

  They stood staring at each other in a timeless tableau, and as they did, the look of longing in Matt"s eyes sank into Ruth"s memory like a caress.

  It was some moments before he sighed, kissed her lightly, and said, “Okay, honey. We"ll have it your way, this time.” Lifting her in his arms, he carried her up the low embankment, but when he lowered her onto her towel, she was filled with a sense of loss. Love, she realized, was an unwelcome invader.

  Matt reached for his shorts and pulled them on over his wet legs, followed by his jeans. As he stood before her, water rolled down his bare chest, leaving his body glistening in the sun like molten silver. The sight of him made Ruth"s breath catch, and it was all she could do to keep from saying, „ Yes, I’ll let you love me the way God intended....’

  Instead, when he offered his hand she took it, allowing him to pull her up, until she was standing in the circle of his arms with her hands around his waist. He drew her to him and gave her a long, lingering kiss then held her tight. “Oh, Ruthie,” he whispered against the top of her head, “you don"t know what you do to me.” But when he bent to kiss her again, the sound of galloping horses approaching from a distance caught their attention.

  Ruth quickly pushed out of Matt's arms and grabbed the towel off the ground.

  Moments later, Deke reined in. “You"d better come right away,” he said, in an excited voice.

  “Jody"s here and she wants to take Annie.”

  Matt looked at Deke, alarmed. “Where is Annie now?”

  “In the barn with the pups.”

  “Ride back and keep her occupied until I get there.”

  „You"ve got it.” Deke spun his horse around and spurred him into a gallop.

  Matt grabbed his shirt, rushed over to where Ruth"s clothes lay in a heap, snatched them up, and said, “Come on. I don"t want that bitch anywhere near Annie.” He heaved the clothes into the bed of the ranch truck that Ruth and Annie had come in, and they headed back to the ranch, a trail of dust billowing behind. Matt"s jaw set in a hard line, his brows drawn in an edgy frown, he said, “If she thinks she can come shoving her way back into Annie"s life she"ll soon learn it"ll be over my dead body.” It was a statement, not an opening for conversation or questions, and seeing the rigid look on Matt"s face, Ruth remained silent.

  As they approached the ranch house, Ruth noted the strikingly beautiful woman leaning against a white Jaguar. She wore a plain white jacket and tight white pants tucked into tall white boots. The jacket gaped open, revealing a white, western-cut shirt, stretched tight by oversized breasts. There was no question in Ruth"s mind, this was Jody. Standing beside her, a tall, lean, ruggedly good-looking man in western garb, struck a match and held it to a cigarette. Matt brought the truck to an abrupt halt and jumped out. “What"s this all about?” Jody smiled at him, her eyes scanning his bare chest. “You"re looking well, Matt,” she said.

  “But then, ranch life always did suit you.”

  Ruth stepped out of the truck, pulling the towel tight around her shoulders. When no one spoke, Jody walked over to her and said, “Please excuse Matt. Protocol isn"t one of his strong suits.” She offered her hand. “I"m Jody, and you must be the new nanny.” The towel dropped off one shoulder as Ruth shook Jody"s hand, and in that instant, Ruth was aware that Jody"s eyes ranged the full length of her, clearly taking in the scant bathing suit.

  Ruth looked toward Matt for some sign of what she should do. Then she saw his face harden, as he said to Jody, “I"m sure this isn"t a social call, so get on with what you want.” Jody slipped her hand into the crook of the tall man"s arm. “We were in the area so I thought we should stop by.” She waved her hand in front of Matt, displaying an oversized diamond ring and a diamond-encrusted wedding band, and said, “I"m married now. You remember Wayne, my lead guitar.”

  Matt gave no sign that he so much as acknowledged the man, but instead, fixed his eyes on Jody, and replied, “You"re not welcome here so take your guitar player, and your diamonds, and your Jag, and get the hell off the Kincaid.”

  “I want to see Annie. I have a right. She's my daughter.”

  “You gave up all rights to her the day you screwed your stud and left.” The man raised his hand in protest, and said, “Now just a minute, Kincaid, you"re talking to my wife.”

  “I"m talking to a bitch who doesn"t much give a damn whose bed she finds he
rself in as long as it gets her what she wants. You want to take issue with that?” As they stood staring at each other, the man"s hand drew into a fist then relaxed and he said nothing.

  “Fine,” Matt said. “Now the two of you better be on your way before I lose—“

  “Daddy!” Annie yelped, racing out of the barn with a tan puppy in her arms. She rushed up to Matt, and said, “This is the one I want. His name is Tristan.” Jody crouched in front of Annie and stroked the puppy"s head, then looked up, and said,

  “Hello, Annie.”

  Annie eyed Jody with curiosity. “How do you know who I am?” Matt motioned to Ruth. “Take Annie into the house.”

  Ruth grabbed Annie"s arm and started toward the front door.

  “I don"t want to go inside,” Annie protested.” I want to show the pretty lady Tristan.” She broke free and turned back toward the gathering. Ruth rushed after her, the towel dropping to the ground in a heap. “Please, Annie, do as your father says.” She took Annie by the arm again and led her away. As she tugged Annie up the porch steps, she heard Jody say to Matt, “Your opinion of me seems to fit your nanny as well. I"d say she"s definitely one who doesn"t much give a damn whose bed she finds herself in as long as it gets her what she wants. And off the top of my head, I"d say she wants the Kincaid Ranch, and its prize stud.”

  “You have about fifteen seconds to be on your way.”

  “Fine. But if you won't let me see Annie you"ll be hearing from my attorney. Come on, Wayne.”

  As the Jag careened down the road, Matt bounded up the porch steps and rushed into the house, sending the front door crashing against the wall. He marched into the kitchen where he found Annie sitting on the floor playing with the puppy and Ruth standing with her hands folded across her chest, looking like a deer trapped in headlights. Not wanting to humiliate her further, he said, “I can take over now."

  Ruth said nothing, just turned and left the room, the sight of her near-naked body hovering in Matt's mind. It was some moments before he realized he"d been staring after her, and that Annie had spoken to him...