JUSTIFIED DECEPTION Page 12

  “How did the lady know my name?”

  Collecting his thoughts he replied, “Lots of people around here know who Annie Kincaid is.

  Now go give Tristan a scoop of puppy chow and put him in the pen Edith fixed for him in the laundry room.” He had no intention of upsetting Annie"s world by introducing Jody into it. The only woman Annie needed in her life right now was Ruth. In fact, the only woman he needed in his life was Ruth, with her big hazel eyes and dimpled cheeks and quick wit. "The fact that Ruth also has a body like Aphrodite...."

  "Daddy?"

  He looked at Annie. "Yes, honey?"

  "What's an afditey?"

  Matt stared at Annie.

  "You said Ruth has a body like an afditey."

  It wasn't until then that Matt realized he'd said the words aloud. "It's Aphrodite. And she was a pretty woman."

  "Then you think Ruth is pretty?"

  “Well, yes.”

  “Are you gonna marry her?"

  "Why would you ask that?"

  "You love her, don't you?"

  Matt didn't reply. The question had taken him by surprise. It also made him feel strange, different somehow, like the thing that closed around his heart the night he'd found Ruth alone on the porch. Dismissing the odd sensation, he said, "I haven"t known her long enough to love her."

  "You look at her like you love her. Did you kiss her at the swimming hole?"

  Matt lapsed into thoughtful silence. Yeah, he"d kissed her alright. And all he could think about now was how much he wanted to kiss her again, every inch of her beautiful naked body, and fasten his lips on one of her....

  "Well did you?" Annie looked up, expectantly.

  Matt squared his shoulders. "Just because a man is alone with a woman doesn't mean he'd kiss her. That would be taking advantage of her. Besides, when a man kisses a woman it's because he wants to marry her. Ruth and I won't be getting married." He hoped that would end it.

  "Did you like the way she looked in her bathing suit?"

  Matt shrugged and said with an evasive grin, "Well yeah." But like didn't begin to describe Ruth in that skimpy yellow suit.

  "Do you think she looks as good as Lorinda?" Annie pressed.

  Now Matt was irritated. "I don't know. I've never seen Lorinda in a bathing suit." True. But he'd seen her in a whole lot less, and thinking of her in the buff did nothing for him now.

  "Do you think Ruth has big boobs?"

  "Good Lord Annie." But as he said the words, the image of Ruth standing at the water's edge while looking over her shoulder at him made him want to kiss her until she wrapped her arms around him and let out one of her sweet little moans…

  "Well?" Annie stared at him, waiting for a response.

  Matt shrugged. "I really didn't notice.

  “Would you marry her if she had big boobs?”

  “Enough about Ruth,” Matt snapped. “And no, I don't plan to marry her. It's gonna be just you and me, kiddo, like it's always been. Satisfied?"

  Annie shrugged. "I guess."

  Matt got the distinct impression that Annie was disappointed. One day soon, he'd remind her that Ruth was just another nanny who'd leave them both when a better offer came along.

  But the fact was, Ruth wouldn't find a better offer than what he could give her at the Kincaid as his.... As his what? “Just feed your pup," he mumbled to Annie.

  Annie looked up at him, puzzled, and Matt realized that feeding the pup was precisely what Annie was doing.

  ***

  During the quiet, solitary hours just before daybreak, when even the house seemed to be slumbering, Ruth lay in bed, eyes fixed on a ceiling painted with the eerie, bluish light of dawn, and asked herself how she could have come so close to giving herself to the man whose daughter she might ultimately take away, a man who lusted after her, but didn't love her, a man who had no intention of marrying again. She tried to convince herself that she'd allowed things to get out of hand in order to avoid answering Matt"s questions about Beth, but she knew it was a barefaced lie. Nor could she clear her mind of the brazen smile she'd offered him as she stood on at the edge of the water, urging him to come take her.

  But it was the sight of him racing after her, naked and aroused and completely uninhibited, and scooping her up in his arms and holding her against a body about as perfect as a man could have, that taunted her now. The fact was, she"d wanted to give herself to Matt for the pure, hedonistic reason that she wanted him. Just as she knew he wanted her. And the only way she could check her unleashed desire for him was to continue avoiding him, just as she had, ever since she"d rushed out of the kitchen in her bathing suit six days ago. She'd even skipped dinner that night, eating leftovers in the kitchen after Edith retired to her room for the evening, though she'd made sure Annie went down and joined the men for dinner, as usual.

  For the rest of the week it was easy to avoid Matt. He and the men had been away rounding up mavericks to bring in for branding. But now he was back, and again she'd skipped dinner. But eventually he"d come looking for her, and she'd have to face him. Yet, how could she bring herself to do that now? She"d always tried to be modest in her dress, but standing near-naked in front of his voluptuous, strikingly beautiful ex-wife had been the most degrading and humiliating moment in her life. And it all happened because of a whim, and a skimpy bathing suit. If it were not for resolving the issue of whether Annie was Beth, she'd leave this place and the physical effect Matt had on her. But she didn't have that choice. So, no matter how driven she was with need for Matt, she would not let it happen again...

  And then the bedroom door opened and she saw him standing there, barefoot, stripped to the waist and wearing pajama bottoms. He walked to the bed and peered down at her. She closed her eyes and willed him to leave, hoping he'd think she was asleep, but he didn't buy it. Instead, he said, "We have to talk."

  "Just go away."

  "Not until I get some answers.” The bed settled down beneath Matt's weight, and Ruth could feel his eyes on her. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

  Ruth attempted to draw the covers up around herself, but they were trapped under him.

  Turning onto her side and presenting her back to him, she said, "You should know why. Now, please leave. Annie will hear us."

  "Annie's downstairs sleeping in Edith"s room so she can be near her pup." Placing his hand on Ruth's shoulder, Matt said in a low, quiet voice, "Okay, honey, what gives?” Ruth yanked the covers from under him and scooted back against the headboard. Drawing her knees to her chest, she said. "What gives is that nothing like this has ever happened to me and it makes me feel cheap and ashamed. I don't normally go running around half naked, teasing men, and I have no explanation for my behavior."

  Matt drew in an audible breath. "So you"ve decided to hide from me? Until when?”

  “I don"t know. I"m very confused”

  “Then I"ll clear some of the confusion. You behaved the way you did because you simply allowed yourself to feel what I feel, and to act on it. And your behavior wasn"t shameful, honey.

  Standing in that skimpy suit and smiling at me over your shoulder, and teasing me the way you did... it was about the sweetest thing that ever happened to me because I know you're not that kind of woman." He reached out and trailed a finger along her bare shoulder and down her arm.”

  "Please don't do that,” Ruth said. “It'll happen again, and this time no cowboy on a horse will come rescue me from myself."

  "And so nature will take its course. What's wrong with that?"

  "We don't love each other."

  "But we can enjoy each other without the complication of love. I want you, Ruth."

  "And when the passion fades and you no longer want me, what then? Will you send me packing so you can make room for a new nanny in your bed?"

  "I have never had a relationship with any of Annie's nannies," Matt said. "That's not what I do. But with us it's different. It's good. It's right."

  "No, it's not right. I don't want passion
without love, or sex without marriage. It's that simple. Now, please go. I'd be mortified if someone found us together like this."

  "Okay, I'll go. But we will talk about this later.”

  "No, we won't, because there's nothing more to say."

  "There's a hell of a lot more to say. And we will talk, you can count on that." Matt left the room as quietly as he'd come in, pulling the door closed behind him.

  Ruth punched her pillow. Whatever it took, they would not talk about this... ever. Nor, would they pick up where they'd left off at the swimming hole. The memory of it would soon fade, along with her bizarre sexual desire for Matt Kincaid.

  But for tonight, she wanted him more than ever.

  ***

  Matt paced the living room floor, restless with pent up energy and frustrated that Ruth had managed to outmaneuver him, avoiding him for yet another week. She'd planned outings with Annie whenever he was scheduled to be working in the vicinity of the ranch house, and she'd taken care of her duties with Annie at the house while he was out branding, or mending fences, or rounding up strays. But their separation had given him time to think. And time to mull things over. Something about Ruth had been niggling him, like trying to remember an elusive dream that would emerge from the subconscious only to slip away again.

  She'd lost a daughter. Odd that the daughter would be Annie's age now. Not odd.

  Coincidental. Too coincidental? Had she taken the job as nanny to a little girl who would be the same age as her dead child, just to fill the void? The catch was, in his ad, he'd never mentioned Annie's age, or sex. The ad. Another paradox. Ruth never saw his ad. She'd claimed she heard about the position from a woman from Cedar Grove while traveling on a bus. She'd never said who the woman was, and he'd never asked. For that matter, she'd never mentioned why she'd been on a bus from Cedar Grove. Now, the whole bus thing seemed suspicious.

  He crossed the floor again. What had he said to Ruth just before her sprint into the water?

  Until then, she'd made plain her thoughts about swimming with him in the raw. Then impulsively, she jumped up and dashed for the river. And her stance at the water's edge clearly invited him to join her. A distraction? Had she opted for an erotic romp in the water with him, one that would without doubt end in hot, heavy sex, rather than following the direction their conversation had been heading? Wherever that was. And that's what was niggling him. He'd been so distracted by the sight of her near-naked body and his own strong need that the gist of their conversation became blurred at the time, and now it had totally escaped him...

  The sound of a vehicle drew his eyes to the window. To his alarm, he saw that a sheriff"s car had pulled up out front. He met the sheriff at the door. “What"s the problem, Les?”

  “These are for you." Les Willcuts held out a thick envelope.

  Matt noted that the packet came from the office of Jody"s attorney. Flipping open his pocket knife, he sliced the envelope and slipped out the bundle of legal papers, reaffirming what he already suspected. “Well, Jody"s true to her word," he said under his breath. "She"s petitioning the court for joint custody.”

  Les"s brows gathered in surprise. “Joint custody of Annie? Why would she want to do that?

  Last I heard she hadn"t been around here in years.”

  “She was here last week," Matt said. "When I wouldn"t let her see Annie—" he waved the papers in front of Les "—she threatened to do this. I didn"t think she"d go through with it though.

  I suspect her attorney already had the papers drawn up, ready to serve me as soon as I denied Jody access to Annie, which Jody knew I'd do.”

  “But, why would Jody want Annie after all this time?”

  “Who knows? Guilt? Maybe to impress her new husband? You tell me, Les. You knew Jody before I did.”

  Les shifted, uneasily. “Yeah, well, I didn"t know her that way.” He crooked his thumbs in his pockets and added, “Maybe her biological clock"s ticking and she"s starting to feel it, and with that body of hers, she"s not likely to want to stretch it all out of shape being pregnant. Annie takes care of both problems. But what do you intend to do? You"ll have to respond to this.”

  “I"ll respond alright. I"ll sic Brad on her and she won"t know what hit.” After Les left, Matt called Brad, who informed him that he"d be out to the ranch as soon as he could tie up some loose ends.

  Two days later, Brad"s twin-engine Cessna touched down on the ranch runway. Matt rushed out to meet him and they headed toward the house. As they entered the main room, Matt was surprised to find Ruth rushing for the stairs so she could continue avoiding him. But this time she wouldn"t get away. “Ruth,” he called after her, “come say hello to Brad.” She paused at foot of the stairs, her back to them, and for a moment Matt thought she intended to ignore him and keep going. Then she turned, and on her face Matt saw the same trapped look he"d seen when she"d stood in the kitchen in her bathing suit. She managed a smile as she walked toward them. “Nice to see you again, Brad.”

  Brad took her outstretched hand, and while looking at her closely, replied. “It"s nice to see you again too." For a few moments he seemed to be studying her, then his brows gathered in a puzzled frown and he said, “Were you possibly involved with one of the local television stations? I think that's where I might have seen you before.” Ruth shrugged. “No, I've never done that. But like I said, I have one of those generic faces everyone mistakes for someone else. I've been told I look like one of the local reporters. Of course, I never can see the resemblance, but others do.”

  Matt knew from the forced look on her face that her words were not genuine. Some time real soon, he silently vowed, he"d make it a point of finding out why.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Ruth stood in the hallway, listening to the voices of the men in the dining room below. She'd left the table early, as she"d done all week, but this time it wasn"t to avoid Matt, but to stay away from Brad. He was getting close to the truth. He'd placed her face on television, and she knew he wouldn't let the issue go until he'd solved the riddle.

  Oddly, she was also glad he was there, if only to keep Matt occupied for a while. Playing cat and mouse with him was beginning to weigh heavily on her. Earlier that day he'd intercepted her as she was leaving the stables, and he told her he wanted to talk to her after dinner. Leaving the table early seemed a way out, at least for a little while longer. She knew he was upset because she"d been avoiding him, but that couldn't be helped. She didn't want to be alone with him, at least not until she learned the truth about Annie. She knew how it would turn out. The pull was too strong, her resolve too weak. If she could, she'd pack up and leave. And maybe that's how it would end. Annie would turn out to be just a little girl who Matt adopted, and Beth would still be out there somewhere.

  Too restless to stay inside, and with too many hours left until she'd be tired enough to sleep, she crept down the stairs and slipped past the dining room, hoping Matt wouldn"t notice her. But the moment she stepped onto the porch, the screen door shot open and Matt grabbed her by the arm. "Where are you going?" he asked, his tone accusatory.

  Tugging against his grip, Ruth replied, "Some place where I can be alone."

  "Why? Because you're afraid of what will happen when I do this?" Pulling her to him, Matt captured her lips in a kiss that was at once forceful and desperate, drawing her into its vortex until she was unaware of everything around her but the taste of him, and the feel of his arms around her, and the heavy beating of his heart against her palms. When she at last found the strength to break free, she pushed against his chest and cried, "Let me go!"

  Matt arms tightened around her. "Not until we talk this out."

  Trying to ward off a discussion Ruth had no intention of getting trapped into, she said, somewhat incongruently, "What about your brother?”

  Matt looked at her, baffled. “What's he got to do with anything?”

  “Shouldn"t you be inside visiting with him? He came all the way from Portland to see you, for whatever reason

/>   “Brad"s in the study putting together a case that will send Jody packing for good." He took her by the shoulders, and said, "Sorry to spoil your evening but we will talk. Now."

  "All right, have it your way. You will anyway," Ruth said. When he loosened his hold, she shrugged out of his arms and started for the door.

  Matt's hand shot out, taking her by the arm. "Not in there," he said. "In the barn where we can talk without being disturbed."

  Staring at him unblinking, Ruth said, "But if we go to the barn, talking is not the way it will turn out, and you know it as well as I do."

  "I don't intend to have a quick roll in the hay if that's what you're implying. I mean to talk to you in private, which will be in the barn." He took her arm and she made no attempt to pull out of his grasp. She knew better than to try.

  In the barn, Matt braced his arms on her shoulders, and said, "You've got me so tied in knots I can't think straight. All I see is you at the swimming hole, near-naked, and flushed, and wanting me, and I can't do a damn thing about it."

  "Then go to Lorinda," Ruth said, irritably. "I'm sure she can fix your problem."

  "But she can't fix this." Matt clamped his hand over his heart.

  Ruth stared at his large hand, then looked into eyes that were no longer angry, but instead, softly luminous in the subdued light. Her own anger began to fade, replaced by puzzlement. "I don't understand."

  "Then I'll try to explain." Matt tightened his hands around her arms and peered into her eyes.

  She felt the tingle of his breath against her face as he said, "Honey, I can't give you love. It's not in me to give right now, but I can give you whatever you want to make you happy here. All I ask is that you stay with me and help me with Annie."

  ...can't give you love... not in me to give...

  Matt's words hung heavily as a deep nagging uneasiness settled over her. She tried to keep her voice steady as she said, "That's exactly what I am doing."

  "When I say stay with me, I'm talking about with me in a relationship," Matt said.