JUSTIFIED DECEPTION Page 15

"I know it's not romantic," Matt said, "but if I got you jewelry you"d say I was trying to get you in bed. It's for you to carry when you're out riding, and to keep in your handbag when you're in the city. I'll show you how to use it."

  "You don't have to."

  "I know I don't have to, but I'm going to. You're important to me, honey, and I want you to be able to protect yourself from anything and anybody.”

  Ruth looked at him and smiled, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you," she said.

  And he knew she meant it. For once, he'd played his cards right with Ruth.

  On a dirt ledge carved out of an embankment, Matt set up several cans, pockmarked with bullet holes, and said. "We'll dry-fire first so you can get the feel of the gun. Here, hold it with both hands." He handed her the pistol and stepped behind her. "Now, raise it over your head like this—" he curved his arms around her and covered her hands with his, making her raise the gun— "then slowly lower it like this" —his hands came down— "and without jerking, squeeeeeze the trigger." Which she did. "That's real good. Now, try it a few more times and we'll load her up and see what you can do."

  After she'd dry fired several times, Matt took it from her and said, "It's takes 22 long rifle bullets, and it's loaded by placing the hammer in the half-cock position like this, so the chambers line up with the loading gate." He dropped six bullets into the chambers and returned the gun to Ruth, then stepped behind her. "Don't worry if you don't hit anything. Like roping, it takes time."

  Ruth aimed at the line-up of cans and slowly pulled the trigger. A can skipped into the air and fell to the ground.

  "Good shot," Matt said. "Real beginner"s luck. Now try again."

  Ruth slowly took aim and pulled again, sending the next can flipping into the air.

  "You're a natural," Matt said, realizing she hadn't so much as flinched when the shot rang out. "Let's hope your luck holds out."

  Ruth aimed and pulled again, sending the next can spinning end-over-end into the air... and the next tumbling down the embankment... and the next pivoting with a loud ping... and the last splitting with a hollow clunk and toppling onto it's side....

  And Matt realized he'd been had. He folded his arms. "That's real nice, honey," he said, his words laced with irony. "How many years have you been practicing?"

  Ruth looked at him and smiled. "About four."

  "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I tried, but you weren't listening. In fact, you do that a lot, you know. I like the pistol though. It handles well for a small gun."

  Matt slipped the piston out of her hand and set it on the stump of a tree. "You're full of surprises, aren't you?" he said, taking her by the shoulders.

  Ruth looked at him, warily. "What are you going to do?"

  "Kiss you."

  "You said we were just going to shoot."

  "I said I was going to teach you to shoot. Since you already know how, we can put the time to better use doing this." He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, and she kissed him back, eagerly, passionately, molding her body to his, moving her lips against his, tangling her fingers in his hair, moaning her little soft moans that made him forget everything but the feel of her in his arms, and her breasts against his chest, and her hips straining to be closer to him...

  "Daddy, are you gonna marry Ruth?"

  They broke apart in an instant. Ruth restlessly toyed with her collar while Matt nervously rubbed his chin. "I was just letting Ruth know how pleased I was with the way she shoots," he said. "She's real good at it. Wait till you see her."

  "But you kissed her," Annie said, ignoring his statement, "and you said if a man kisses a lady it's because he wants to marry her."

  "Yeah, well, I suppose I did. But that's not always the way things work out. But if it does, you'll be the first to know." When he looked at Ruth, she was staring at him, but instead of the flush of embarrassment he'd expected to see, he saw a kind of expectant look on her face….

  That look stayed with him well into the night, haunting him. He would not marry Ruth or anyone else until Annie was grown and gone, he vowed. To get through the night, he'd set his mind on other things, like teaching Annie how to train her pup, and putting up a new hen house, and having the boys power wash and oil the logs on the house....

  Still, Ruth's expectant look remained.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Ruth realized how close she'd come to telling Matt the truth about why she'd learned to shoot, that it was to protect herself, if need be, while searching for Beth. But even after learning how to shoot, she'd left Portland without her gun to take up residency with the man who could have stolen Beth. But now she knew in her heart that Matt would not have knowingly been a party to an illegal adoption. But since he didn't contact his brother about it, he could still be an innocent party to a black-market adoption. So the only uncertainty was the truth about Annie...

  and Beth. Although she was all but certain Annie was Beth, she still didn't have positive proof, and until she did, there was that niggling doubt....

  "Ruth," Annie called from her bedroom. "Will you tuck me in tonight?"

  Ruth was surprised to hear Annie calling for her. Until now, Annie insisted Matt tuck her in as he always had. The thought that Annie had shifted some of her affection brought a greater sense of certainty welling inside. She went to Annie's room and sat on the edge of the bed.

  Pushing the curls from Annie"s face, she smiled down at her and said, "Close your eyes, sweetie, and I'll sing a song for you, one I once sang to the little girl I was telling you about."

  "Beth?"

  "Yes, Beth."

  Annie looked up at Ruth, brows gathered, and said, "What was she like?"

  For a moment, Ruth didn't respond. Mentioning Beth to Annie had slipped out that day at the river, and she hadn't expected to discuss her again. But it came to her that perhaps it could trigger infant memories. Looking down at Annie, she replied, "Beth was pretty like you, and she had big brown eyes and curly hair like you."

  "What kind of toys did she have?"

  Ruth contemplated the assortment of prized possessions still waiting in Beth's room in her parent's house, exactly as they had been, the way they would remain until the day Beth would be returned to her. "Well, she had a little plastic stove with an oven door that opened and burners that little plastic pots and pans could set onto. And she had an assortment of dolls and stuffed animals. One special doll she'd named Baby Doll. And she loved her stuffed animals about as much as she loved Baby Doll. She also had a little hand-made wooden crib that she'd put them all to sleep in around nap time every day, and each one had its own blankie."

  "Did she know how to ride a horse?"

  Ruth laughed lightly. "Oh no. She was too young for that. She was not even..." She started to say two, then caught her self and said, "She was five when she... moved away."

  "I could ride a horse when I was five," Annie said. "Where did she go?"

  "I… umm… don't really know."

  "Did you miss her after she left?"

  Ruth felt tears welling and blinked several times to stem the flow. Looking away, she started tucking in the sheet and straightening the covers while trying to dislodge the lump of sadness in her throat. When she realized Annie was waiting for a response, she said, "Everyone missed Beth after she'd gone, just like everyone would miss you if you moved away from here."

  Annie's eyes sharpened. "But I'm never gonna move away from here. Daddy says that someday the ranch will be mine so I can live here forever."

  "But one day you might marry and move away with your husband."

  Annie shook her head. "No, Daddy says no one will ever take me away from him, and I don't ever want to go anywhere without Daddy."

  Ruth knew, from that moment, that even if she could prove Annie was Beth, she could never separate her from Matt, emotionally, and she'd have hell to pay if she tried to do it physically.

  The fact was, in her heart and soul, Annie belonged to Matt and the Kincaid Ranch.
Yet… if Annie were Beth, she also belonged to a mother who loved her with all her heart, and who could not bear to be separated from her again. That is, if Annie were Beth. There was still no proof.

  Drawing the sheet and light blanket up under Annie's chin, she said, "Now close your eyes and I'll sing that song I promised." Annie closed her eyes and Ruth sang, while stroking Annie's hair, "Hush little baby, don't you cry, Mama's gonna sing you a lullaby...."

  When she came to the end of the song, Ruth repeated it, softer this time. Annie's eyes grew heavy with drowsiness, and when her breathing became rhythmic, Ruth kissed her cheek and whispered as she"d always done before, "Good night, sweet little Beth. Mommy loves you..."

  Later that night, Ruth awakened with a start to the sound of Annie's desperate cries. Ruth met Matt in the hallway as they both rushed toward Annie's room. Matt flipped on the light and took Annie in his arms, rocking her gently as he whispered, "It's okay, baby, it"s okay. Daddy's here. Don't cry. It's okay."

  Ruth sat on the edge of the bed. "She must have had a nightmare."

  "She's never had one before," Matt said. He brushed Annie's tears. "What's wrong honey?"

  Annie sniffled and sobbed while saying, "It was scary, Daddy. It grabbed me away from Mommy and wouldn't let go." She clung to Matt, and he held her against him.

  Matt looked at Ruth, eyes unblinking, and watched her solemnly, and it was some moments before he said to Annie, "It was just a bad dream, honey. Open your eyes and look around. See, I'm here, Ruth's here. Everything's fine."

  Annie looked around. "Can I have a drink of water?"

  "Sure." Matt nodded to Ruth, who returned a few moments later with a cup of water. Annie drank the water and settled back, the dream seeming to have faded. Matt drew the covers up under her chin and kissed her. "You think about something nice now, like going to town with Edith tomorrow."

  "I get to go to town?"

  "I said so, didn't I?"

  Annie smiled and closed her eyes. Matt turned off the light, and with little more than a nod to Ruth, returned to his room, leaving Ruth standing in the hallway, wondering why he hadn't tried to kiss her. She returned to her room and crawled into bed. Annie's dream had obviously been triggered by the lullaby and the reference to Beth. But it wasn't the dream that concerned her. It was the fact that Annie, her own little Beth, remembered Mommy. Ruth also realized the incident served to reinforce the other complication she'd been aware of but hadn't wanted to recognize. The special bond between Matt and Annie.

  Images of them together paraded endlessly across her mind. Matt holding Annie and whispering reassurances to calm her after the nightmare while Annie clung to him. Matt and Annie atop their horses, laughing and whooping boisterously while galloping off for a short race.

  Matt catching Annie and tossing her up in the air at the swimming hole. Teaching her how to rope. The look on his face, and Annie's, when she wore the dress. One scene followed another until all Ruth saw was a dizzying blur of Matt and Annie together, the bond between them so strong, not even Mommy could sever it.

  How could she take Annie away from the only parent she'd ever known, a man who marked the progress of her growth on a Giraffe Growth Chart, and who loved her as much as any parent could possibly love a child. The fact was, Matt was just as much a victim of the crime as she was, and to take Annie away from him would be as great an injustice as the one that took Beth from her. But there was another aspect to this that Ruth found almost as troubling as having to take Annie away from Matt. What if the preliminary DNA tests proved that Annie was not Beth?

  Her initial goal to take Beth and flee was now further complicated by the fact that she was in love. She hadn"t intended it to happen, but when she'd let down her guard, it did. And she also hadn't expected to take Annie into her heart and allow her to fill the void that Beth had left. Now, the thought of life without Matt and Annie seemed almost as inconceivable as learning that Annie wasn't Beth, and having to continue the search alone. Yet, depending on the results of the preliminary DNA tests, she could be faced with that reality.

  She'd been so caught up in proving to herself that Annie was Beth that she could have been looking for things that weren't there. The scar might not be exactly where she remembered; Beth's could have been a little lower. And Annie's hair was definitely darker than Beth's. Even Annie's eyes seemed rounder, and her lashes darker, and her brows more arched. The idea that Annie might not be Beth made her weary. Perhaps it was time to tell Matt everything. If Annie wasn't Beth, maybe Matt's father and brothers could help with the search. But knowing Matt now, if Annie was Beth, surely he wouldn't deny a mother her child...

  Which agency?... Hell, I don't remember... I'd pull the cleverest disappearing act in history... Annie and I could live well anywhere in the world...

  Then on the other hand, maybe she'd wait until the tests were done. In the meantime, Bill wanted her to try and find out more about why Matt wanted to home school Annie, saying that it might help her case if it went to court later. And if he was open to talking about that, she might even broach the subject of the adoption... the kind of questions anyone would ask. Ruth wasn't sure how best to approach Matt about either, but she decided that an outing alone with him would be the best way to get him to lower his guard. But it would not be down by the river. She knew precisely how that would turn out if she and Matt found themselves at the swimming hole, with her in her bikini and Matt in his cutoffs. But she did want to kiss him again. They'd had almost no contact since the incident at the shooting range, and she was feeling depressed. Having Matt's arms around her would make things right again.

  ***

  Matt sat on a bench in the tack room, splicing a worn bridle while contemplating the previous night. He had no idea what triggered Annie's nightmare, or why Annie"s mother had been a part of the dream—whether that mother was Jody or Annie"s biological mother. But the nightmare had definitely triggered a response from Ruth. While he'd comforted Annie, he'd glanced up to see Ruth watching. She'd had a strange look on her face, like a mask had fallen away, revealing a totally different persona. Again, that niggling uncertainty, the elusive something that often moved into his conscious awareness before slipping away....

  But what concerned him most was what he'd recently learned from Edith... that she found Ruth in his office. Edith tried to explain it away, but he knew that even Edith hadn't bought into Ruth's dubious explanation. There's no way he would have shut the file with the adoption folder stuck in the drawer, a folder he hadn"t looked at in years. Ruth also asked him a lot of questions about Annie's biological mother, and the questions had not come across as idle talk. He got the impression that they'd been deliberate, with a specific goal in mind. If only he could remember what they'd been discussing just before Ruth's sprint to the river. Whatever it was, she'd almost compromised her principles to keep from discussing it.

  He'd also come close to taking advantage of her. But Ruth wasn't like Lorinda, who'd slept with most of the men in town, no regrets, no love lost. Ruth was a woman whose love would be deep, intense and forever. The kind of woman a man takes as his wife. And that was his dilemma. He wanted Ruth more than he'd wanted any woman before, but he had no intention of marrying to get her. She'd have to meet him on his terms. Yet, his terms could destroy a woman like Ruth. He felt boxed in a corner, and whenever he'd been boxed in a corner he'd come out fighting. But the last thing he wanted with Ruth was to fight. It was a hell of a dilemma...

  Ruth's voice jarred him. "I'd like to talk to you," she said.

  Matt turned to find Ruth standing in the doorway. "What about?"

  "Annie and other things," Ruth said. "But I don't want to discuss it here. I want to go where we can be alone."

  Matt liked that idea. The kiss Annie interrupted at the shooting range had been passionate, so maybe at last Ruth had come to terms with an uncommitted relationship and wanted to be alone with him so they could take it to the next level. "At the river?" he asked, hopeful.


  Ruth stared at him, brows drawn, as if deliberating about that.

  Matt set the bridle aside and walked up to Ruth, and took her by the arms, and said, "Honey, nothing will happen at the river if you don't want it to."

  "I suppose the river would be alright then," Ruth said.

  "Did you want to go now?" Matt asked.

  "If you can get away... yes."

  They saddled the horses, and after a brisk gallop, arrived at the river. Ruth sat propped on one arm, with her legs tucked under her, and Matt lay semi-reclined, with his upper body braced on his elbow. Matt waited for Ruth to tell him what was on her mind, and when she seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of time getting started, he said, "Okay, honey, what's this all about?

  What did you want to discuss?"

  Ruth glanced at him, and replied, "Annie's schooling. Edith said that the bus turns around at the entrance to the ranch, so I was wondering why you're planning on keeping Annie home.” Matt eyed Ruth, dubiously. Something wasn't right about this. They could have discussed Annie's schooling in the tack room. "I'm keeping her home because it's an hour-long bus ride each way, and Annie's time could be better spent at the ranch," Matt said.

  "What about kids for her to interact with?" Ruth asked.

  "She's only six," Matt replied. "There's time for her to make friends."

  "Then you've looked into home-schooling programs?" Ruth asked.

  "Annie's schooling's my responsibility and I'll see to it," Matt said, while watching a couple of Canada geese drift with the river.

  "But Annie has no friends at the ranch," Ruth said.

  "What are you proposing," Matt asked, his gaze following the geese, "that I send her off to boarding school?"

  "No, of course not," Ruth replied. "I was just concerned."

  "You act like you're Annie"s mother."

  When Ruth didn't answer, Matt looked at her and saw that the mask had fallen away again, leaving her looking vulnerable. Giving him a tentative smile, she said, "I'm just trying to be a responsible nanny."

  Matt didn't wholly believe that's what all the questions about homeschooling was about. "So, what's the next question about Annie?" he asked. "Somehow I don't think we've hit on it yet."